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Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Relationship Repair in a Flash--64 Flash Cards for Real Life (Tarcher Inspiration Cards), by Nancy D
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Based on Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love, described by Glamour.com as "the most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars," this card deck has the power to stop an argument dead in its tracks. Talk to Me Like I’m Someone You Love: Flash Cards For Real Life feature sixty-four written statements that hold the power to express what we wish we could say to the person we love, but for which we can’t find either the right words or the right tone in which to say them. On the back of each beautifully designed card are “field notes” from the author that explain when, why, and how to use the statement. These cards include statements such as:
- Right now, I don't need a lecture. I need your love.
- I'm afraid to be real with you.
- When you are so intense, it's hard to take in what might be valid about what you are saying.
- When you treat me this way, it feels like you don't respect me. Is that true?
- We need a new perspective. Let's take a break and each get clearer about what really matters here. Okay?
These flash cards, as well as the book on which they're based, were first inspired by a particularly angry couples therapy session in which a wife’s unrelenting criticism of her husband was making him more and more emotionally withdrawn. Suddenly, Nancy Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, “Talk to me like I’m someone you love,” and gesturing to the husband that he should hold it up. He did, and within seconds, the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged before all their eyes. Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love: Flash Cards For Real Life are a brilliant interactive relationship tool that can help couples stop arguing and begin healing.
- Sales Rank: #396315 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Tarcher
- Published on: 2013-01-03
- Released on: 2013-01-03
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 5.22" h x 1.12" w x 3.86" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Cards
- 64 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
Praise for Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love:
"Just about any couple using this material could humanize their relationship."
—Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., author of Getting the Love You Want
"Nancy Dreyfus and her flash cards were an inspiration behind our research into the important process of attempting to change the affect during marital-conflict resolution."
—John Gottman, Ph.D., author of The Relationship Cure
"The most crucial relationship advice book since Men Are from Mars."
—Erin Meanly, Glamour.com
"Veteran psychotherapist Nancy Dreyfus has written an insightful guide that highlights the power of written messages to diffuse tension and put an end to conflict"
—Tucson Citizen
About the Author
Nancy Dreyfus, Psy. D., is a psychotherapist and couples therapist with more than two decades of experience. She holds a doctorate degree from Hahnemann University Medical School.
Most helpful customer reviews
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
valuable therapy tool
By DD
I use these with couples and individuals during therapy sessions. Clients easily engage with these and are able to talk about sensitive issues without discomfort.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Hey, this book really does what it says!!!!
By Abigail Sandler
So what I learned from reading "Talk To Me Like I'm Someone You Love, a truly life altering book, is "you can say anything to anybody, any time, as long as you say it in a loving way!" That was my take away from Dr. Nancy's book. I'd recommend to anyone who has ever been in a relationship, or plans to ever be in one, again. It's chock full of bit sized, lovely little morsels that will serve you well. Run, don't walk to order your copy now, I bought a bunch for copies for my single and married friends, they "all" loved it. Oh, another cool thing, there are super helpful Flash Cards, that are also available, easy to use, and they reinforce what I learned by reading her book. Why didn't anyone ever think of writing such a simple, informative, easy to read and understand, relationship book! It's one of those books you just read over and over, and each time you get something more out of it::)
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
The title says it all...
By Sandy
"Talk to me like I'm someone you love" should, in the best of all possible worlds, be all one would need to say to wake up their partner (or anyone else they care about who they're interacting with) to the tragic, dis-connecting nature of reactive attempts to communicate...
But since few of us live in that world, we need all the help we can get. Each of Nancy Dreyfus' brilliant flash-cards represents an attempt to re-connect with a loved one when shame and separation has driven us apart.
I love the simplicity of the title. It reminds me of another great book and book-title: "Emotional Safety: Viewing Couples Through the Lens of Affect." When I found that book, I immediately recognized that the relationship I was in that had just fallen apart had done so because of the extreme LACK of emotional safety for either of us. Alas, it was too late to attempt any repair...
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